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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?